Recently I had the distinct pleasure of reading a book entitled, The Women Who Raised Me, written by actress Victoria Rowell of Diagnosis Murder fame. Within its pages holds a quote that truly touched me to my core.

Somewhere around chapter five, a pivotal notion cast lots on where our tolerances, prejudices and life focus should be. One of the many friends that aided Victoria to sustain her dignity along her journey to womanhood gave this honest truism, "Feeling good and being good do not require perfection". Now where does that leave us as individuals who are accountable first, to ourselves for what we say and do?

Private thoughts, personal time, our actions, without the lens of others peering in may escape the notice of the public for a while, but in the end does it really go untouched? No. Our upbringing formulates opinions, shapes our minds and hearts for a lifetime.  

We certainly do not have to be perfect but we owe it to ourselves to reach for the stars, live large and strive to be the best person we can be no matter who is watching.

Life is too short-don't waste it.

A sudden change in employment status is no reason to lose yourself. The thought of being without steady income is no fun, but starting anew is not exactly inventing the wheel.

Take this time to assess what you want to do instead of pondering income streams. Wherever there is a problem, therein lay a solution. Reemployment is no different. Oftentimes we become reactive instead of proactive as our thoughts quickly go to, what am I going to do? Change your thought pattern to what can't I do!?

A successful path is not always the one right in front of you, it may be something on the bubble that has been stirring for awhile and now resurfaces. Relinquish the brain freeze, because the longer you sit, the longer you stay in the same sedentary position-mentally and physically.

Deal With Emotions-Do Not Drown In Them-Let's face it, egos are bruised and feelings are hurt when the layoff arrives at our cubicle. No one is discounting your feelings, it is a loss. However, by concentrating on the event, you are empowering it. Believe it or not, this is momentary-not your life. 

Keep Your Options Open-The first job may not be your first or fifth choice, but, may take you to a whole new field of growth opportunities. A critical overview will sabotage and diffuse. Be open to change.

See Positives-The skills, which are usually a grocery list long, since most of us multi-task no matter the title, will come in handy. List each skill and what role they played in daily tasks. Put these in play on your resume.

Do Not Take Road Most Traveled-Step out of the comfort zone by researching entrepreneurship. Many cities and towns offer programs to potential business owners. Check your local employment agencies for Fresh Start curriculums, classes, webinars and discounts for higher learning, see what you qualify for. Check public libraries, some offer excellent online classes that may increase academic, social and economic values.

This does not mean waiting three years until the choicest opportunity presents itself, or turning into the eternal student. Strengthen, create and build engagement, the goal here is progression.

Networking Your Value-A shiny resume is great, now share it. LinkedIn.com is a great segway. Unsure how to utilize it, there are online tutorials, groups, advice, techniques and networking etiquette. Another resource: www.meetup.com. Some groups are more effective than others, do the work so you find the best fit for optimal prospecting .

Speak with group organizers, ask questions, stay visible. Practice a 30-second commercial of your skills, goals and what you are seeking. 

Side note: once you are back to work, stay in touch. Never take anything at face value. Do not take advantage, or vacate without a trace once your needs have been met. Find a way to pay it forward within the groups you made initial contact, expanding your network-after all, things can change.

Most importantly, unemployment is not a sentence-it is a second chance for reflection, renewal and resurgence. Lane changers are game changers.

Best-
Dawn

It only takes a minute to form an opinion and less than that to make a first impression. I have seen the gambit of tight, mini, low cut and see-thru garments at networking events to last a lifetime. I am not leaving you out either fellas, the tight leave-nothing to the imagination-please-release-me suits some of you are wearing might as well be relabeled swim trunks. I digress as I may be offending the swim trunks.

These outfits are never to attract the right career prospect but an unsettling way of creating the double-edged sword: mixing business with pleasure. Now, if you really are not sure what to wear and believe that club attire is acceptable for genuine networking, you are seriously mistaken. With corporate business models tightening the reigns, and increasing awareness of sexual harassment in the work place, the last thing any networking employer seeking to hire wants to see is inappropriate attire.

Some time ago I had the opportunity to attend a workshop with individuals being trained for employment. On one particular day for a homework assignment, everyone was asked to arrive on time, have their resume prepared, and required to dress as if attending a scheduled interview. This proved to be a complete eye opener for me because I assumed that the age group of the class demographic either had children of their own or in some cases, grandchildren, but they should have known better. 

The clothing of choice ranged from low-cut braless to bare feet in thongs-not kidding here. The trend of becoming overly comfortable with laid back social media engagement seems to have transcended into a no-holds-barred approach to dressing with a seductive slant.

Just when I thought the morning could not get any worse, some were actually offended at the thought that their dress code would even be questioned. The simple rule of thumb for dress appropriate networking, employment interviews and the like is simple: If you can see thru it, or under it-do not wear it.

Innocent mistakes can occur, such as thinking an item is less transparent than originally thought. Solution: have a friend check that particular garment if unsure, or simply omit it from your business wardrobe altogether.

I know we are living in an era wear the norm is going to the store in pajama bottoms, which I am still appalled at, by the way, but worse still, many miss what type of message this gives to potential employers or colleagues. Another issue is decorum. Create a safe zone by avoiding anything that could attract unwanted advances or situational conflicts of business conduct.

The contrast between tasteful and repulsive is made evident when your skillset wins but your business wardrobe stinks. Because of the diversity in the workplace, giving pause before putting on the first thing not requiring an iron, means preparing the night before. Wearing clothes that are too tight sends a message of carelessness, or "I don't care what you think-this is all about me" attitude.

Everything we do is about branding, whether we are entrepreneurs, co-workers, management or potentials, we are representing ourselves. You need to assume that the contacts you make are seeking to understand how you fit into their own branding models. If on your own trying to build a business, giving reasons for doubt defeats your purpose and bottom line.

Before you get a chance to say one word, your outfit has communicated volumes as to how you respect yourself, your environment and the prioritized effort you put forth in building a good first and lasting impression.

So the question is, how do you look-how do you really look? Time well spent on aligning the right gear is a true investment that may just be the best non-verbal action of your day.

Next week-decoding the myths of lay-off blues


Best,
Dawn