A few years ago George’s character on Seinfeld created a cheaply clad fake gifting system he called the Human Fund. Even though served up as a joke here we are some 25 years later still trying to piece together what real kindness is verses being nice and identifying the phony empty deceptions. The sobering fact is while both work in life and business they play strikingly differently against core values and outcomes.
Being nice can become convoluted as it conveys as a quality when in fact it can be extremely temperamental and sneakily conniving. Someone with a smile on their face may not be happier any more than a person shaking your hand is glad to have met you. It is a risk believing courteous means kindness. Niceness can shine through as desperation when corralled with never wanting to disappoint. It matters not how much you are inconvenienced you must always be nice and accept whatever is given to you. This is wrong on so many levels as you never get relevant fulfillment because everything you are doing is based on another’s goals and agendas.
This applies in relationships of business or romance. One may seem to be happy with what you are doing but if it is not coming from a good place, red flag. The honest person will put their genuine best effort and opinion on things in order to receive positive results. Becoming the nice or yes person means you have negotiated yourself right out of your voice and opinion. You have allowed all agendas to land on you without the benefit of a maybe. Going the distance means you are taking responsibility not lying around like a chick waiting on momma to feed you. Dissolving the overtly nice persona is a hard habit to break.
In maintaining business you have to pick your battles but it is all upstream if you give it all away. No one usually goes to McDonald’s and asks for a Big Mac and throws fifty cents on the counter for payment. Ronald’s not pictured at the drive thru with his hands up saying he’s sorry for taking your money. We are not arriving at the conclusion that if we ask them to take off the cheese, extra bread and special sauce means now they will discount it. No, it is and will always remain a Big Mac sandwich. And as life would have it they have made three different versions of the Mac that still cannot be negotiated. So there you have it. Sometime we need to reevaluate by asking ourselves hard hitting questions:
If you have answered yes to any of these questions it is time for a grand-assessment. This means analyzing what your needs are. Being real on what it takes to make you happy. Setting appropriate perimeters for realistic goals you feel good about and ones making you stronger every day.
Acknowledge your value. There is no room for back pedaling when you analyze what you are contributing. Time energy expertise experience and a proven track record are definite qualifiers proving your worth. If you want to be kind deliver results as promised and keep the communication and workmanship at the highest degree possible. Be punctual and honest not the pushover.
Kindness can be seen as a double edged sword but is a quality lasting a lifetime. It is a connective tissue to heart motives and actions and does not require prompting. It sources real feelings. Not to put down popular themes of random acts of kindness here but kindness may seem random to the one receiving the free coffee behind you at Starbucks but kindness, real kindness is not surface or random. There is nothing wrong with being nice, kindness goes deeper. It does not appear when convenient or trendy or when others are calculating good deeds. It is manifested in our works toward others and can be one time or repetitive toward a person or animal as with our pets. A pat on the head can be nice but a massage of the head would be kindness especially during a rough patch or if this eases pain.
Kind words develop in a person’s heart long before spoken. Not only well chosen but coming from a place of knowing experience. Feeling for a person’s sorrow pain or happiness and is very important to your life and business. Being known for your word goes far and wide above the last handshake. A kind person is known to care and support you in the light of day or the dark of night when it’s least convenient or expected. They cooperate no matter the situation instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and may not get credit when credit is due but their lives are rewarded nonetheless. They diffuse not misuse their assets. Quiet power the kind person has as they echo life’s problems with silent acts avoiding the banana peels. Never underestimate them for they will always rise.
Until next time~
Being nice can become convoluted as it conveys as a quality when in fact it can be extremely temperamental and sneakily conniving. Someone with a smile on their face may not be happier any more than a person shaking your hand is glad to have met you. It is a risk believing courteous means kindness. Niceness can shine through as desperation when corralled with never wanting to disappoint. It matters not how much you are inconvenienced you must always be nice and accept whatever is given to you. This is wrong on so many levels as you never get relevant fulfillment because everything you are doing is based on another’s goals and agendas.
This applies in relationships of business or romance. One may seem to be happy with what you are doing but if it is not coming from a good place, red flag. The honest person will put their genuine best effort and opinion on things in order to receive positive results. Becoming the nice or yes person means you have negotiated yourself right out of your voice and opinion. You have allowed all agendas to land on you without the benefit of a maybe. Going the distance means you are taking responsibility not lying around like a chick waiting on momma to feed you. Dissolving the overtly nice persona is a hard habit to break.
In maintaining business you have to pick your battles but it is all upstream if you give it all away. No one usually goes to McDonald’s and asks for a Big Mac and throws fifty cents on the counter for payment. Ronald’s not pictured at the drive thru with his hands up saying he’s sorry for taking your money. We are not arriving at the conclusion that if we ask them to take off the cheese, extra bread and special sauce means now they will discount it. No, it is and will always remain a Big Mac sandwich. And as life would have it they have made three different versions of the Mac that still cannot be negotiated. So there you have it. Sometime we need to reevaluate by asking ourselves hard hitting questions:
- Do I let others take my ideas as their own?
- When something doesn’t sound right do I go along anyway?
- If I have a solution do I keep it to myself for fear of it getting attention?
- When I send a proposal to potential clients am I apologetic on fees and costs?
- Do I let others devalue my services by allowing them to negotiate down my fee?
- Am I overly yielding when outcomes encroach on my wellbeing?
- Do I unnecessarily add products and services to ease client imposed guilt on a contract when they should have their own price points?
- · Am I being true to myself in recognizing my self-worth?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions it is time for a grand-assessment. This means analyzing what your needs are. Being real on what it takes to make you happy. Setting appropriate perimeters for realistic goals you feel good about and ones making you stronger every day.
Acknowledge your value. There is no room for back pedaling when you analyze what you are contributing. Time energy expertise experience and a proven track record are definite qualifiers proving your worth. If you want to be kind deliver results as promised and keep the communication and workmanship at the highest degree possible. Be punctual and honest not the pushover.
Kindness can be seen as a double edged sword but is a quality lasting a lifetime. It is a connective tissue to heart motives and actions and does not require prompting. It sources real feelings. Not to put down popular themes of random acts of kindness here but kindness may seem random to the one receiving the free coffee behind you at Starbucks but kindness, real kindness is not surface or random. There is nothing wrong with being nice, kindness goes deeper. It does not appear when convenient or trendy or when others are calculating good deeds. It is manifested in our works toward others and can be one time or repetitive toward a person or animal as with our pets. A pat on the head can be nice but a massage of the head would be kindness especially during a rough patch or if this eases pain.
Kind words develop in a person’s heart long before spoken. Not only well chosen but coming from a place of knowing experience. Feeling for a person’s sorrow pain or happiness and is very important to your life and business. Being known for your word goes far and wide above the last handshake. A kind person is known to care and support you in the light of day or the dark of night when it’s least convenient or expected. They cooperate no matter the situation instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and may not get credit when credit is due but their lives are rewarded nonetheless. They diffuse not misuse their assets. Quiet power the kind person has as they echo life’s problems with silent acts avoiding the banana peels. Never underestimate them for they will always rise.
Until next time~
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