How you feel about yourself and your self worth depends largely on what you concentrate on. Feelings of inadequacy hits in difference stages of life. Even with the best role models we tend to grow up focusing on our own failings. There is a lot of pressure out there for sure, especially so because we have a need to be accepted by family, peers, work mates and friends and the list goes on.
We may contribute to the strain by placing unnecessary burdens on ourselves. We have to have the perfect career, family, status, finances and education all by a certain timeline and if not-FAIL! This should never be the case. Winning over yourself is the first step, this means setting attainable priorities and goals
It takes more than telling yourself that you are good enough like that Saturday Night Live skit from times past, which was hysterical, but I mean the real thing. Gaining that feeling is comparable to that favorite comfort food, a soothing color or a scent that conjures up feelings of joy from your childhood.
Here are a few ways to bring back that feeling and translate it into a workable can-do for you.
Getting To Know Yourself First
Take some time to get to know who you are. In younger years we may be influenced by what we see on our favorite television shows or those famous, even infamous for that matter. Our social networks can form our thought patterns and opinions. Does any of this factor into our realities? There is nothing wrong with some suggestions however, dig deeper, seeking out what you really know to be true for you.
Write those things down, as time moves on the list will change but at least it will be your list of preferences. Review it every few months for improvements and adjustments.
Set Short Term Goals
No one likes a quitter, least of all when you give up on yourself. If you are nervous about a new job, research how to conquer fears of being the newbie. Become diligent, willing to learn, accepting the journey and remaining positive. Learning all you can about your role, responsibilities, and expectations will help smooth the course to contentment.
In relating to others, keep it simple and be yourself. Look for new ways to stretch, for example, if it is hard for you to speak in front of others, find a local community workshop that offers Toastmaster type sessions to improve on public speaking. You may have found a new niche.
Do Not Become The Push Over
Building backbone may take some work but is wonderful once achieved. Hone in on qualities that will help you become stronger and better, knowing you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. How did you feel when you stood up for yourself against a bully, got the job, passed a test-triumphant, right? Foundational experiment blocks can mold personality advancement.
Courage is the quality of mind that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. without yielding to fear. This involves bravery. Dare to think that you are worth it. You are enough. You matter and are important. You deserve fulfillment and no one can take that from you no matter how hard some may try. Courage is not handed to over like a baton but can be enhanced by what we put into our personal space.
Learn To Be Happy With What You Have
Comparative shopping for the best deals-good. Constantly making comparisons between yourself and others can prove disheartening and destructive. Don't do it. Find things you like about yourself right now. You completed a project, fixed dinner on time. You left work on time instead of burning the midnight oil. It could be as simple as knowing you look fine in that outfit, front, back and side orders. Ladies you know what I'm talking about-guys, I'm not leaving you out!
Move It Along
Progress, have fun and find that new hobbie. Crocheting, playing a sport, learning a language, volunteering, cooking lessons, inspiring others. Whatever the motivation, remember that you can change and there is no age limit or time line. Try this site for more hobby ideas without breaking the bank, www.hobbiesonabudget.com.
There are alway those who are worse off than what we may be experiencing. If you have the resources, time and energy, try to help others that really need it. Not only will you feel a sense of personal growth but satisfaction on seeing someone else being moved by your kindness. Think about joining a meet-up group in your area, look at groups matching interests, career and social components, remembering to think outside of the box, check out the site: www.meetup.com.
Treat yourself to something nice, the dollar amount is not important as long as it is special to you. The new tie you saw on sale, the new bracelet that was 60% off. A CD of your favorite artist. Select something tangible that can't be eaten up in seconds and forgotten. On occasion let the treat be a type of reward system, reminding you of a good deed performed or a goal met.
Find your happy place and enjoy life. For me, it is a warm pot of tea after a great day of writing and activities close to my heart. Assess where you are, find your peace- you never know where it might lead you.