The old elevator speech needs retuning, a refining if you will. Getting away from the ever changing list of things you want known is different from creating dialogue leveling a broader level of engagement.

​If you are stuck as to how to go about it, here are a few keys to consider before journeying on into networking bliss.

1. Do not list every skill known to your profession. It's been done to death. Hone in on how one, and I mean one service benefits the mind, body and soul. Be real about it, no sense in trying to spin yourself into unrealistic parameters. If life insurance is your career make it known how the end result helped and work into offering a personal consultation by adding an essential health tip. Work on grieving tips.

No one seems to think about this. End of life planning should include more for those being left behind. You don't have to be a counselor to comfort someone choosing a plan. No one likes talking about it so make it about more than the bottom line.

2. If the speech sounds more like you a moving locomotive the results will be the same. No one wants to be hurried into spending their money. You must reach the mind and heart before any revenue streams are created. If you don't it's a wrap.

3. Take time to prepare a well thought out pitch. What is written may well exceed the 30-second mark but you can refine as you go. Instead of trying to write it out all at once, try writing or typing your skills on one side, the other, one sentence of the benefit. You will discover your talent for multiple commercials you can use even when among those familiar in the audience.

4. Hold on to those business cards. Instead of the old five card Monte ask to sit if possible for some brief one-on-one time, which can decrease the awkwardness of whipping out devices and hastily making arrangements you end up cancelling or changing later. Connections take time and there is no time like the present.

5. Have a coke and sit down. Recently I went to a networking event where everyone was nice but the 30-second rule, despite being explained went into mind numbing absurdities. The moderator was ignored. Instead of classic dialogue some went all in with a question and answer session during the individual speech. 

​By now you should have realized after about 30 to 60 seconds the mind goes blank and people lose focus. Especially unkind when you have a large number of attendees. It is truly rude and makes the assumption that everyone else is the waste of time. Don't do it. These time stealers ended up leaving the function right away as it seems the line for them was near the exit.

6. Make good eye contact when speaking. This lets your audience know you are invested in them. Not a good time for the casual flirt I sometime see which is annoying at best. Look around the room before uttering your first word in order to gain the attention, giving emphasis to the importance of your message. Now please do not inbox me later, use some logic here. Do not give the Michael Jackson stance like he did one year at a concert. Make casual yet firm acknowledgment and proceed.

​One of the goals here is to elevate hence build an elevator speech launching you to the next level. The so-called rules of the game may change and you will too. Keep it real, honest and informative. Great things await.

​Until next time~

Getting your business established takes mental fitness. The kind where you must take time to self evaluate what it is that you want your efforts to say about you. When we mentally check out instead of checking ourselves we can fundamentally cause catastrophic results to our business by shutting people out that otherwise would prove to be allies. 

Over the last ten months a few businesses have reached out stating they may shutter citing they can't make it with all of the competition. In addressing this I wanted to share a few snippets regarding conflict and infighting amongst some in several states:

​"I cannot network within local groups unwilling to let me in the door"-
And you never will until you change your mindset. What are you personally doing whether your business takes you local or abroad to let yourself be seen right here in your area? Creating your own networking group can be another way to leverage skills you have and may reduce the level of lack luster results. Stop internalizing and get to work.

You should have business cards on you at all times. Why do I keep encountering individuals stating they have a business yet when I request a card they are playing chest piano as if they didn't know already of their unpreparedness. Stop, drop and roll into your local business supplies store or get online for great deals and stop the madness of being un-businessed.
Another stop on the mental freedom train: stop-stop-stop apologizing for being a small business. Big headliners achieving instant greatness are not the norm. Work hard, stay educated on business model goals, reviewing every six months (some say every three months because of the ever-changing technology age-industry pending, watch your budget, reassess and keep it moving.

Trust me, others trying to maintain a larger business are having the same big-little issues you are experiencing. They have mastered the art of the poker face. If you are careful and smart enough you won't need the façade. Extend a hand, give your name, allow them to give theirs. Your introduction should never be all in one sentence. Take a breather and relax. Talking about what you do will naturally become part of the conversation. Go forth and conquer.

I've been a part of a chamber and everyone "knows my name"  
As it should be and with any established group big or small. Getting to know the members means having a real conversation without the elevator speech. Some do not know when to turn it off. I have also seen the hunter or mafia style mentality of some who have silent codes of conduct, i.e. don't do business until they join. Strong arming individuals to withhold any interest and waiting for them at their vehicles, visiting them at their place of business to make the unspoken enforcement with possible unpleasant outcomes to future business whatever that is, is wrong.

This may seemingly work but hard research is living proof that all of the skill in the world will not promise you results and no matter how successful a group may be or how much you paid to join cannot promise you strong returns on your investment. Use caution. Understand too the ramifications of the strong-arm approach. Oftentimes those performing these duties are unaware of the silent killer called gossip, sweeping through networks like a summer brush fire obliterating further segways. As much as we would like to think we are all invincible the fact is we're not.

If these are the kinds of individuals who want you to be a part of their group you must ask yourself why you want to join. You have just as much of a right to evaluate and interview any opportunities coming your way for growth. Keep your confidence and countenance when dealing with these voices and silence them by simply moving on until you find what aligns with your standards and ethics. In a perfect world you meet and do business-life goes on. The reality: you will meet unsavory souls along the way and you can maneuver without judgement to make formidable alliances without minefields.

When spending your money you deserve to have the investment be worth it to your bottom line. Know what your assets are and showcase them tastefully. Do not be hasty in offering yourself up so quickly on LinkedIn to those you may have shared connections with on other venues.

Follow your instincts if something is legitimately causing a red flag on other social media, why are you subjecting your professional efforts to those who may be only connecting to take advantage. LinkedIn is not Facebook and you must learn when and how to communicate safely without putting yourself and your trusted connections in jeopardy. Finding the right fit may not be as easy as A-B-C, be patient and work out real verses camouflage.

Another aspect to this is making sure you are friendly, professional and ready to do business. Not showing up as if you have another function to attend allows those you meet to feel as though you really want to be there-present in the moment, not taking off after the first conversation or drink. if you find a good chamber or networking group don't abuse it. Grooming is important. Showing up in jeans, baseball caps and unkempt hair may be your statement but what is it saying to potential connections. Even if you have a live out loud personality be aware of your audience.

Over extending your stay isn't clever either and has been done to death. If you feel the local atmosphere has nothing to offer bow out gracefully no harm done. It doesn't take five years of attending free breakfasts and after hours events to see the pros and cons. Your reputation is at stake, if still undecided after all of this time don't let the wine and cheese hit you on the way out. Have a nice day.
Many variables alter outcomes and making sure you are taking a good hard look in the mirror may be the swift kick you need. Well that and good observations of a good, trusted friend.

​Become a true business ambassador by harvesting genuine interest in your social savvy and become limitless.

Until next time~

​Certain loss leaders in life have nothing to do with profit and physical damage. Personality carte blanche rules the premise of politeness. From rude email responses to ill-fated evites gone are the days of protocol. Fractious connections are accepted as the order of the day with the assumption that they will always be a source to tap into.

Not acceptable. Never was. Never should have been. Getting side-tricked by the misnomer of everything is ok with a smile is phony and misleading. We emulate what we see because of trying to do the peer thing. Side-tricked into believing this behavior is suitable we get on the bus riding it out eventually becoming the passenger with the odor everyone is trying to avoid smelling the same air with.

​Reviewing the wreckage you try to regroup. You dig way back in the rolodex because you sure bruised up your digital contacts through bad context. Bragging and minimizing others, showing up to the party eating up all of the food. Placing false and true rumors and thinking nothing will get back because you are the bomb. But apparently you've blown up and not in a good way.  Now the real work begins-again.

​Damage control is a Band-Aid effort. You can't sop this up with a biscuit. You don't know where to begin because you did not realize you started it. The first person you disrespected wasn't the person you acted rudely toward, it was to yourself. Now you are aware of it-time to address it.

For one, we all have egos and are human and it may or may not be most of your fault for obvious outcomes so give up the blame game. It's old tired and done. The genesis of the issue could have innocently cropped its ugly head as a snowball of praise, feeling invincible and before you know it you are arriving on a float to every event. The head swells we get a little too comfortable and the tongue loosens.

You go from boy or girl wonder to butt of the joke accompanied with backs turned calls unreturned and network opportunities morphing into a shrunken head. You have the power to turn it around. Your attitude must change meaning you have to dig deeper dropping the false bravado. Check yourself. How did you get here and what are you doing. Stop blaming other people for the slip ups and failures and own it which is all part of the process.

Instead of whipping yourself for what you did wrong whatever your role go for what to improve on so the issues can fade to black. Initially there was a drive for something greater than today, a will to want to grow personally and professionally. At twenty we tell ourselves we know it all but when we turn forty we realize we are a student of life. Don't lose this as there is humility in it.

An understanding of greatness outside of ourselves should at the least propagate a culture of common decency beyond our oneness.  Catch phrases sow the seeds of doubt as cascading slippery slopes of trend. Dig deeper. Who are you? Write it down.

Something I do with some of  my groups I speak to is ask them to break into groups by age. The lists had major alterations as life happens through the decades. I have them do interesting things with the lists proving life is not such a mystery after all when we are the sleuth. So don't go running naked into the woods because you made a mistake. Just check yourself and after a while. You will be ok. Your gains will outweigh your losses on home turf and the welcome mat will say "Respect".

​Until next time~

On an otherwise unassuming day in October 2011 unprecedented storm news loomed. Not any storm but the kind producing debilitating ice assuredly setting new records for New England. Those living in states facing impending doom were warned of downed lines, power outages packing a punch, causing radios whose normal habitat somewhere between bottom of the closet of the lost and the inevitable walk of shame down cellar. But at least we knew what was coming.

Leaving my hotel for the trip home after a wonderful four days, I knew what was coming too. Refueling the car, making sure to have plenty of water, reassuring my mind of the emergency kit kept in the trunk because you never know what may happen I set off not knowing yet hoping like the rest of us that it wouldn't be as intense as predicted. Greeted with a welcome to Connecticut also brought on a new normal for what ended up for the majority as an 11-14 day black out.

Debris, enormous tree limbs and orange cones peppered the normally tree-lined neighborhoods of West Hartford, blocking the path to home. High beams on full alert, the alternative was getting back on the highway. Wishing for a blinking yellow street light felt like home but was not meant to be. Pushing forward the next exit brought more of the same. Third time is the victor as I finally see familiar paths to my front door.

​Even in pitch dark the full lens of what transpired painted a picture indelibly as with suitcase in hand, cerebral steps across an icy front lawn made for keen awareness of the danger surrounding every move. Painstakingly trying to keep balance. Eerily quiet calm. Not a creature was stirring. Keys in hand the front door opened an oasis truly embraced as home sweet home conjured new breath.

Candles lit and stove on for tea and warmth, accessing began. Not like I waited until hitting the front door but now have can match the reality with the list. The preparation is all in the planning and execution. I lamented. The next morning the rest of my crew from the traveling caravan connected as most powered phones in cars, malls or anyone fortunate enough to have a good generator lent a helping hand to those less fortunate. Well some did anyway.

The anger and ignorance of some gave a pregnant pause as it was now everyone's problem for those failing to be proactive. Extended gas lines, markets turning folks away as failed freezers meant compromised food sources, tying the hands of management and staff. Witnessing individuals, some professionals, who under any other headline would never seemingly find themselves in that position, argued their point of survival over the last sausage link on the planet. I lamented.

Forecasting was key. If you lived in Peru you knew that New England was about to take a hit, yet the element of surprise and entitlement stifled the pleasant air of my town. The same mentality exists with some who think they can run a successful business without forecasting. Without checking the customer climate, not counting the cost, energy and skill of running a business with organization causes failure. Playing into the blame game instead of looking at the man in the mirror. Failure to launch, communicate and move forward with agile spells epic failure.

So many businesses have closed over the last year because a huge portion miscalculated, they failed to keep up with their objectives. Not because the customers dried up. When you take up entrepreneurship you must know what you are getting into. Appreciating good art does not make you an artist any more than the appeal to start a business means you should. We always see one hit wonders, some pan out where the creator or inventor can make millions and walk away, for the majority it becomes ground hog day.

You go by way of the proverbial networking route. Meeting and greeting, passing out cards. Possibly connecting. You formulate lazy eye marketing. Random target focus.  Tooling the effervescent email blast to individuals you barely made eye contact with, hoping the words reach the heart and create a relationship in the mind. Come on folks! Back in the day you had to work harder than that to retain a pen pal.

Remember after the 2011 storm, like other weather events, people were practically holding hands in Kumbaya? Sure you do. When the ice cleared and the lights came back on the oh so familiar air of realism hit with a vengeance as warm embraces, paying for other's coffee at the local Starbucks and holding open the polite door began the descent into past tense. Disingenuous acts loom but don't last. Hard sell with a smile is done in case you missed the memo. You'd better giddy up for the bare bones, hit the ground running work that comes with ownership of your actions and reactions to all things business and beyond. We all know when we are treated with civility or with true intent of engagement.

​Showing up to the party takes more than meets the eye. But you know this so, so why the drink-wash-repeat method.  You know who you are. You make what you think are noteworthy appearances at networking meetings as if you were brought in special to sign autographs. You might seek out new ones but mostly rely on others to spread your good name. I have a not so secret for you: creating and spreading your good name is your primary responsibility, keeping a good name means working for it the rest of your life. 

Rid yourself of the temperamental invite. The bait and switch of if you come to my event I'll support yours. This does not work well as availability changes and no one is going to compromise substantial business to attend an event. Be a grown up and handle the idea of sharing events as viable means in offering extended growth instead of bartering for time.Make an effort to really connect, go to other events outside of your comfort zone. This is prime flea market, expo and outdoor show time season. Your business cards should not be bun warmers.

Which reality are you connected to if you believe the only way to advance lies in the hands of what you did yesterday. Your potential and current base can shrink and fade quicker than a bad bleach job. You have to plan for success instead of thinking you deserve it. Sure you deserve it if you worked for it but we all have the same hope of going beyond the line, making it.

Know yourself, know your business and become aware of what works-and this changes often. If you are working on local business do you know what that really is. Are you ready to supply and demand against those aligned in the same model. There is room for all but why do I want to do business with you on any level. Throwing hooks with zero follow through is a ridiculous waste of time.

The goal is to build your business. When it does happen do not resent those who cannot support the same events. You will know their success because you will see and hear about it so stop the hating.  Perpetual networking for the eats is a reputation killer and does not gain you any friends. If the first thing you grab for is a drink upon arriving at a networking event may spell a deeper concern needing your attention .

When you receive an invite for an event it is bad form to habitually hold out for the better opportunity. Over time you cancel yourself out of potentially untapped resources not seen by the naked eye. Do not get caught up in the befoolery. http://www.floralgreenspublishing.com/pillar-to-post/keeping-up-appearances.  There is no ROI for ignorant's sticker shock and rarely a refund.

It's not all about showing me the money but how you got there. I need to know the story. You should feel very uncomfortable with cookie cutter homogenized effort. Might work for a while not the long haul. Gear up building the right type of materials for your business. Research, research, research. Prepare properly for your atmosphere. Stop the crass competition and infighting which cracks infrastructure. And, if you are showing up to the party to gather information-I see you and I'm just pausing because your forecast is changing before your very eyes.

Preparedness is your business, the way people respond to it is theirs.

Alas, the long 2011 storm's aftermath reiterated hope impacting in kaleidoscope fashion. May it offer life and business lessons while casting a candid cautionary tale.
Until next time~

In our efforts to seem important we must be careful not to step on others along the way. I'm all for feeling confident but when it smacks of arrogance and ignorance-I draw the line. Having said that, my hope is to have at least one person learn from my recent experience.

​I always try supporting those within and outside of my network because it the product and services are decent, standing behind the brand is a breeze. In this case it was a dynamite product. Believing so much in it myself I let a few wealthy investors know about the upcoming presentation. Having a good name with people means you can suggest things and on occasion, time permitting, they will follow. Assuming the other parties have their act together this can be mutually beneficial but in this case it was not meant to be.

​On a bright sunny morning I set out to the destination, text messages in tow, the potential investors were meeting me there to see what the fuss was about. Arriving ahead of me they made themselves comfortable, striking up conversations naturally which is the way of the mature and confident. Only for the sake of this experience will I mention race in its way of explaining the situation fully. The potential investors were not brown skinned as I am and are fabulous connections and friends for these last twenty years. Salt of the earth individuals who would rather step on their own tongue than collaborate on the ideals of prejudice and aloofness. Ok, back to the story.

​I arrive and spot a chair next to my group of excited attendees. They were very impressed with the presentation, product offerings and investment packages being featured. The actual presenter also not brown skinned, surprised to see me, knowing me from volunteer work,  introduced me as said volunteer worker. The individual I was being introduced to also was not brown skinned, was never intro'd by whatever they did for a living and the evening went on seemingly without a hitch. Understand that I clearly am proud of everything I do in life and career but to introduce me in that setting by anything other than my name was out of context, making any attempts at excusing it simply baseless. I took the high road and was still willing to make introductions. My party felt differently and in what seemed to be in the blink of an eye they texted each other and me and decided they were out.

Not to say that the company and its staff will flop because of the ignorant domain they seem to wallow in because we all know many thrive despite their close-mindedness. However the quality of individuals, type of wealth and business savvy my group encompasses, the sheer stupidity of thoughtlessness should at the very least be a life lesson to anyone reading this right now.

​To date the presenter had no idea I had brought in potential buyers and I will never support them again, nor will I ever tell them what they lost. What I do hope is that if by chance they stumble upon my little read, they may try absorbing the facts. I've said it before and I'll say it again. In this 21st century, if anyone is foolish enough to get confused by the color of someone's skin instead of realizing what they have in front of them as growth potential, great connections and let's get real, wonderful people you'd wish you could meet and keep as friends, well go ahead and continue hitting your head on the pavement.

​Thankfully my very supportive group from that horrible experience were not deterred from believing in me and have since invested in another product upon my recommendation. We chatted about the incident but didn't dwell on it because after all, what is the point. Sad but true are the heinous views of those holding on to a semblance of realism whilst getting lost in their own mire. You can lead a horse to water....and so it goes.

​Until Next Time~

In life we have friends and acquaintances through several stages of our lives. Some we keep for a few years perhaps decades, others, as we mature and know what we want in life may fall by the wayside simply because of time and circumstance. In networking we start over again by trying to meet, greet and build relationships with the hope it will lead to stronger business alliances.

For some, real friendships and bonds are made for a lifetime. The excitement of networking is meeting new like-minded individuals who share a drive for career excellence. You want the freshness of seeing a new entrepreneur describe their present and future goals. Sharing what they do and the anticipated yields they project. We are hopeful for them and ourselves, get a card, share a coffee and move on right?

Having seen at times pretty terrific networking over the years I watched, learned and listened. Heard pitches and tones and collected to memory what were the highlights and the downfalls. Networking was in the blood since my early days in New Jersey where a very performance driven group of women and men traveled to monthly venues to offer introductions with aperitifs in hand. I met a lot of interesting people and cards and mostly never contacted or heard from them again until spotting them at the next venue. Knowing there had to be an enormous effort in getting people of varying schedules and skillsets together, the wonder was why didn’t there appear to be a greater return on my investment-my time.

I moved to Connecticut where more of the same took place so at least there were consistencies state to state. More time went by and I experienced more meetings, people and food but never the feeling that I truly connected with professionals on a serious level. Definitely not green I sought out groups doing more than the proverbial handshake as some resort so as to avoid personal contact which I thought odd, but I digress. After getting a few curt nods of what I guess should have felt like privileged acknowledgements I still was at a loss for real connections. One day I was invited to go to a meet-up group, then another and yet another.
Better results. Real handshakes and follow-ups, nice. Obtained some business from these outlets, still wanting to see much more though in the arena of connecting and especially inspiring women to reach new heights outside of the usual sales pitch intro. The belief of getting out there with gusto, gathering cards and meeting for coffee is one way and I’m not knocking it. There are other ways.

The concept of Connect and Inspire was a dreamed reality I had in the heart for a time but really hit square in my soft spot-deaf culture. As I sat at a deaf play last year, amazement and celebration ensued. For the first time the deaf organizations putting on the play allowed for the play to be interpreted for hearing attendees. Splendid demonstration of the formation of the first deaf contact and school formation, how they evolved through the years until present has tears in the eyes of just about every hearing and deaf person present.
Part of what infused the decision was a determination to connect deaf and hearing worlds for a more united way of communicating. After all, a majority of the actors were hearing interpreters and the plays were excellently executed but were deaf-kind not hearing friendly and many hearing family and friends supported the events. The announcement made at the play was huge and still has a lasting impact on me and others who discuss and refer back to what happened that day often, how we felt and would ultimately put into practice gathering people together for a grander purpose.

More than a notion was born as I sat knowing the time was ripe for me to act on another dream of establishing an all women professional group of networkers. They would have to show beyond the normal attendance makers a desire to sincerely grow in and beyond the ranks of the networking. They needed to motivate, inspire, think outside of the box and pay it forward. In other words, an extension of what my company Floral Greens Publishing is all about. The meeting itself is free to attendees and all I ask is that everyone pay it forward by purchasing from the venue. As part of the monthly offering we have specially prepped workshops going the distance beyond keeping the conversation going. Real world benefits are everyone gives their expertise to and refreshingly honest feedback.

Nine were in attendance for the first meeting held at Abigail’s Grille and Wine Bar, a lovely warm restaurant with fabulous food and an atmosphere nestled in the rustically beautiful, if not Norman Rockwellish town of Simsbury Ct. A lively discussion on how we could take our businesses to the next level and personal obstacles to bridge the gaps led into a conversation none of us will ever forget. Stories of triumph and breaking barriers enlightened and excited us all. Each monthly meeting afterward got better and better with attendance topping 39 at one point.
The feedback was tremendous and prompted me to create our first ever 2016 Connect & Inspire Women Entrepreneur calendar. In selecting the 12 women to accompany me for the calendar, I wanted to maintain the standards set for the group’s inspiration. In promoting women business I requested the photographer in the group to write up a prospectus for the ladies, offering a cost and setting inside a great studio, snacks were provided. The photo sessions were amazing, final results stunning. You will want to know these calendar women as they have overcome the odds, prevailed in transition and add professional flair and expertise to any resume.

January-Dawn Harden, Floral Greens Publishing; three time Author of A Letter For Brighton, A Flowered Thorn and Motiv8; and Cynthia Lang of Cynthia Lang Photography-(simply amazing!)
February-Dionne Morgan-Haygood, owner and operator of A Soul Food Bistro located in Windsor Ct.
March-Patricia Giordano, Travel Consultant
April-Jenny Castle, Jenny Castle Human Resources Consultant located in Windsor Ct.
May-Nan Arnstein, Creative Arts for Developing Minds; brilliant Writer/Author of “Rocky Shores”
June-Lisa Gangone, Qivanna
July-Stephanie McAllister, wildly talented Poet
August-Deanna Reaney, Karma’s Closet located in Newington Ct.
September-Lisa Ciotto, New Foundations Health
October-Sue Torres, Animal Activist, heart felt two-time Writer/Author of Loyalty Unleashed-Pitbull and the People Who Love Them series
November- Christine Cosby, Massage Therapist, Juice Plus representative
December Elizabeth Ross Norman, International Opera Singer

Here are Connect & Inspire we have formulated successful and meaningful connections for a greater return on your time and effort. Learning and growing your presence beyond the present. Any of these professionals can be contacted whether here on Linkedin or inbox me for specific information about Connect & Inspire, which I decided to trademark. Making national strides by spring, international by November 2016-through the aid of technology. I have a small panel of influencers who add monthly input and feedback which is greatly appreciated.

Sharing a joint celebration with A Soul Food Bistro last November with a full buffet and candy bar to die for, we know how to champion accomplishments. Connect & Inspire Calendars and brochures are still selling and available. Many contacting me are wanting these for keepsakes as very few networking groups have their own calendars. I am quite proud of the achievement and currently reviewing 2017 calendar candidates. Let me know if you would like to be considered. Part of my background is brand marketing and creative stylist. It was great putting the brochure and calendar together along with other marketing materials.

The idea of everyone wearing black was to galvanize our personal features and what better way to enhance instead of running colors and trying to situate everyone by their personal color choice. It worked. Cynthia Lang our group's photographer, went way beyond the call. Instead of headshots she utilized various poses and items making up our individualized careers. The finished product is nothing short of breathtaking.
If you are ready for something fresh in women-networking feel free to contact me. You do not have to own a business, but are striving to build a better, stronger network and career. The continued hope is to inspire-connect-pay it forward. Are you in?

​Until next time~