A few years ago George’s character on Seinfeld created a cheaply clad fake gifting system he called the Human Fund. Even though served up as a joke here we are some 25 years later still trying to piece together what real kindness is verses being nice and identifying the phony empty deceptions. The sobering fact is while both work in life and business they play strikingly differently against core values and outcomes.
 
Being nice can become convoluted as it conveys as a quality when in fact it can be extremely temperamental and sneakily conniving. Someone with a smile on their face may not be happier any more than a person shaking your hand is glad to have met you. It is a risk believing courteous means kindness. Niceness can shine through as desperation when corralled with never wanting to disappoint. It matters not how much you are inconvenienced you must always be nice and accept whatever is given to you. This is wrong on so many levels as you never get relevant fulfillment because everything you are doing is based on another’s goals and agendas.
 
This applies in relationships of business or romance. One may seem to be happy with what you are doing but if it is not coming from a good place, red flag. The honest person will put their genuine best effort and opinion on things in order to receive positive results. Becoming the nice or yes person means you have negotiated yourself right out of your voice and opinion. You have allowed all agendas to land on you without the benefit of a maybe. Going the distance means you are taking responsibility not lying around like a chick waiting on momma to feed you. Dissolving the overtly nice persona is a hard habit to break.
 
In maintaining business you have to pick your battles but it is all upstream if you give it all away. No one usually goes to McDonald’s and asks for a Big Mac and throws fifty cents on the counter for payment. Ronald’s not pictured at the drive thru with his hands up saying he’s sorry for taking your money.  We are not arriving at the conclusion that if we ask them to take off the cheese, extra bread and special sauce means now they will discount it. No, it is and will always remain a Big Mac sandwich. And as life would have it they have made three different versions of the Mac that still cannot be negotiated. So there you have it. Sometime we need to reevaluate by asking ourselves hard hitting questions:
 

•          Do I let others take my ideas as their own?
•          When something doesn’t sound right do I go along anyway?
•          If I have a solution do I keep it to myself for fear of it getting attention?
•          When I send a proposal to potential clients am I apologetic on fees and costs?
•          Do I let others devalue my services by allowing them to negotiate down my fee?
•          Am I overly yielding when outcomes encroach on my wellbeing?
•          Do I unnecessarily add products and services to ease client imposed guilt on a contract when they    should have their own price points?
• ·         Am I being true to myself in recognizing my self-worth?

 
 If you have answered yes to any of these questions it is time for a grand-assessment. This means analyzing what your needs are. Being real on what it takes to make you happy. Setting appropriate perimeters for realistic goals you feel good about and ones making you stronger every day.
 
Acknowledge your value. There is no room for back pedaling when you analyze what you are contributing. Time energy expertise experience and a proven track record are definite qualifiers proving your worth. If you want to be kind deliver results as promised and keep the communication and workmanship at the highest degree possible. Be punctual and honest not the pushover.
 
Kindness can be seen as a double edged sword but is a quality lasting a lifetime. It is a connective tissue to heart motives and actions and does not require prompting. It sources real feelings. Not to put down popular themes of random acts of kindness here but kindness may seem random to the one receiving the free coffee behind you at Starbucks but kindness, real kindness is not surface or random. There is nothing wrong with being nice, kindness goes deeper. It does not appear when convenient or trendy or when others are calculating good deeds. It is manifested in our works toward others and can be one time or repetitive toward a person or animal as with our pets. A pat on the head can be nice but a massage of the head would be kindness especially during a rough patch or if this eases pain.
 
Kind words develop in a person’s heart long before spoken. Not only well chosen but coming from a place of knowing experience. Feeling for a person’s sorrow pain or happiness and is very important to your life and business. Being known for your word goes far and wide above the last handshake. A kind person is known to care and support you in the light of day or the dark of night when it’s least convenient or expected. They cooperate no matter the situation instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and may not get credit when credit is due but their lives are rewarded nonetheless.  They diffuse not misuse their assets. Quiet power the kind person has as they echo life’s problems with silent acts avoiding the banana peels.  Never underestimate them for they will always rise.
 
Until next time~
 
 

Happiness.  It seems to be a limited art form as many grasp for it but few achieve it. Going through life with a mundane outlook is no good. For the time spent on social media hacking at each other the descriptive should be an prescriptive reversed remedy because if all that negativity worked why aren't individuals ever at baseline fulfillment.

​Spend time working on getting yourself to a better mental space. Working on you takes more work and less effort worrying about what others are not doing according to your standards. Sometimes it is not even about that it's about getting people to the place you are at which is unhappy.

Interviewing several regular online participants revealed a not so uncommon thread. Some disgruntled while others seemed not to care what affect their words had on others. The main comment repeating itself was one of numbness, honest to goodness lack luster care about the welfare of others. From corporate to self-employed I was at once disgusted and hopeful at the results. At first glance these may seem mainstream but take a closer look. Callie: "I go online first thing in the morning to see what stupidity yielded today. Once I find someone who has been spilling their guts about the world's problems I go all in like a Kamikaze. I tell them to stop their moaning and die already."

In my interview with Callie I asked if she could demonstrate how she selects her next target. Going online with her I made a second request, would she allow me to choose the person and topic. She agreed joining in on a thread involving someone sensitive to violence. She starts by inferring that the person is naïve and doesn't understand life and that basically things happen, deal with it. The person expressed that they indeed were not naïve and wanted to see who else shared her particular view and kindly asked if Callie didn't have anything positive to add she could leave the discussion.

Things escalated from there with a rant on "how badly society needs to toughen up" according to Callie and "sitting behind a computer or device isn't going to solve the problem." Good points if she had followed her own advice. After the exchange of words I revealed to Callie that I had her speaking to someone familiar to her. I had reached out to a family member who knew of previous content posted by her and was not amused but didn't know how to broach the subject. The family member was in the vicinity and I asked them to meet us at the coffee shop we were currently. What happened next was both astonishing, promising and poignant.

​Upon seeing her beloved family member approach our table Callie put her head down in what had to be the longest moment of silence I have experienced in my numerous years of interviewing. Silence gave way to sobbing and collapsing in the arms of her aunt who had long been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Notwithstanding the death of her husband less than a year before her fateful doctor's visit she was learning to live the life of a widow, sick and feeling depressed at having to see so much unresolved amongst her other family especially siblings.

When Callie was able to compose herself she still couldn't look her aunt in the face. Whether she deserved a lecture or not I couldn't say but her aunt handled it her own way. Resolute she cupped her niece's face in her hand and said "You know with all this talk of this and that matters there is one true thing, you must be careful about what you say because words matter. People will remember what you do but words can burn through the soul."

We sat and talked for the next two hours never knowing of her aunt's pain. She normally sat up in intervals during the day and never on a hard chair. This truly annoyed her as she was an artist with several pieces in local galleries and determined her life would not be interrupted by her sickness. In our phone conversation prior to the meeting I asked if there were any special needs or requests and in true fashion of what I soon learned to be a very gracious and kind woman, stately in character even as she faced her mortality she only requested hot tea, the rest we could play by ear. She drove herself to the coffee shop determined as ever to live a normal life right to the end.

The time Callie and her aunt spent together was priceless and while I did not sit with them the entire time to give them privacy, both she and her aunt were happier by the end of the afternoon. Happier than they had been in years. Sharing tips on increasing her own happiness started with how she saw herself not the way others may see her. Online may not give the real picture because people tend to get into the spirit of whatever the topic is and let's face it, drama and bravado sells. It raises emotions and at times spoils good intentions, not today though. Today Callie learned the difference between commenting and bashing seemingly faceless social media who all have a face and a name as she found out that day.

Its not that Callie didn't recognize there were people behind the threads, sorrowfully she became dismissive and desensitized because it is online. Behind the emoticons and exclamation points are real thinking, active heart motivated people. Right or wrong to your personal interest or motives they exist and breath and we need to watch the words coming out of our mouths because words hurt too. They also reveal what is not going on right in our own orifice. We all need a self evaluation periodically and now might be a good time. It will build within you a stronger force of critical thinking enabling a stronger family bond and bottom line for your career. No one likes the office or media bully and when it hits home it hits hard.

About a month after our interview I reached out to Callie and her aunt. Big changes as it turned out. Callie stopped some of her online activity and threads she was active on showed a kinder gentler tone but firm on views. Despite failing health she and her aunt continued meeting for tea sometimes at the shop or at her home when days weren't so good. Two weeks after the follow up phone call Callie told me her aunt had passed away. She cherished every minute she had with her and said that meeting those few weeks ago was the best thing to happen to her and instead of feeling resentment at the set up she thanked me. More importantly she got it. She got it.

As anyone dealing with the impending loss of a family member there is something seemingly understood by the dying person. They sense their time is short and I think that is what happened here, looks like aunty had one more thing to say to her niece. Not long after the funeral Callie finally sorted through her pile of mail of condolences and usual stuff and noticed a brightly colored envelope with a very familiar address on it postmarked two days before her aunt passed. Opening it she thought it was a joke. The plain card with a single lily, her aunt's trademark painted on the inside read "life is too short." The back of the card simply said "...so be happy."

​Until next time~

 Essentially it is understood that hard work is the catalyst for continued success. Since we all know this it should not come as a surprise when the foundation of our business begins to crumble in freshman status. After all you knew what you were getting into right? Probably not. After seeing yet another small Connecticut business come to an end I took note.

​One fundamental truth every single person reading this article today needs to take in: do not start a business you cannot mentally, physically, emotionally and financially invest in. You must have a plan especially if you are prone to spontaneity. It is career suicide to think one day of sales means a lifetime of profit. Most businesses don't work that way and you quickly learn some days will be better than others.

Back in the day one of my primary vocations was one of being a caterer. To this day I love it so much that it plays an integral part in my publishing business as a service added on to any of my authors needing culinary expertise at their events and beyond. But here's the thing I love catering and my clients let me know I am good at it. Was this by happenstance or sheer blink of an eye, no. It took work. It took learning the rope and not assuming that because I could cook I would have a business. Motivation along with skill. Understanding timetables, budgets, scheduling errands beforehand.

There was never a day when ingredients were bought on the same day with the expectation of a smooth event. This would spell the opposite as you must plan for the hiccups, the car breaking down, sous chef calling out, venue making last minute adjustments. Whatever it is you need to be on point. You do not allow your venue to take the wrap for your bad judgements and it starts with the planning. Not the planning of the day, it starts long before that. I mean the planning of the career choice. Did you factor in how long it would take to build a clientele. Neighbors and friends will tell you your food is terrific but this should not be mistaken mass appeal. Nor is it comprehension of owning a business. A good majority believe going to college stabilizes your ability to maintain a business. It is true as a stepping stone however this may turn to dust if you do not possess hands on skill.

A degree qualifies you but experience offers quantifiable opportunity. If your aim is to work within the culinary field this is a major fact if ignored will leave you in the dark and behind the competition. In fact you won't have any because they will have already taken your potential clients in a whisper. Leave your ego out of it. Seek assistance from other restaurant owners. Learn the ropes before you decide on a store front, food truck or booth. Know your market. Chinese food sells virtually anywhere people live, why? Because it is viewed in many states as a universal staple. Paydays are a good barometer. In my area of Connecticut any Thursday and Friday you see streams of people leaving work speed dialing their orders-one and done. Inquiring area locals many want good reliable food, quick service and consistency.

This does not work for every restaurant especially smaller mom and pops which is why food chains find a higher degree of success with large menu choices to accommodate whatever traffic coming their way. They also have the limited luxury of fanning out over more than one state, most cases multiples within miles of each so if they close one their ego may be bruised but they are not strapped. You need to be schooled on restaurant codes and codes of conduct. Two very different things. One keeps you aligned with city codes for operating out of an approved kitchen the other is knowing who to hire and training them on kitchen procedure, safety and ethical codes of conduct. Both have extremely high levels of responsibility, one false move and you'll know from your hot breath fogging up the other side of your once welcoming entryway.

Keeping a schedule is mandatory which doesn't mean calculating every second but does mean you need to know the time between prep and party. Unless there is an emergency you don't open the doors to a restaurant without steam coming from your kitchen and steam trays in the front if serving food is your career. If you are incurring daily emergencies that preempt normal store hours you are not ready for business and this speaks to other things on a personal level needing attention. You must check yourself as you not only represent yourself but others who may want to do business with you. When deciding on going it alone it is no longer about you. It is about the services and community effort you are supposed to provide. Recommendations are not made on a maybe. Have your affairs in order and if you cannot handle the non culinary side such as hiring, training, taxes and financials, and errands you must have a plan to facilitate.

Growing strong relationships with area retailers and wholesalers who know each other will help with discounts and other specials not known to the average shopper. Build a rapport. Let your neighbors know you are open. One way to show stability is to create hours of operation you can realistically run on. Haphazard hours of operation make it seem you are not prepared to handle what you yourself put in place. It reduces your reputation to one of distrust and unreliability and your days will become numbered. A report came out today suggesting Americans spend a little over $3000 per year on eating out. Now obviously this isn't because they have to but because they want to.

We are running the gambit on fun activity with the onslaught of mainstays like Chili's with their newly instituted tabletop tablets enabling its diners to play games, order food and pay their tabs and places like Dave and Buster's gaming are off the charts. Olive Garden owned by Darden Restaurants reported in 2015 operating 845 restaurants when introduction of the tablet method emerged evaluating speed, risk, and customer satisfaction virtually eliminating human interaction. Testing the theory of self-sustained dining experience noting tips were higher as patrons who had more than a satisfactory visit. Yet you go the other end of the spectrum local eateries and one of the first things you hear are the compliments of great conversation. The charm of the smaller establishments is camaraderie. It is still anyone's market.

Marketing mentioned several times here means you must do it. You need to know the local happenings. Over the summer I asked an area restaurant who had perfect conditions for revenue enhancements due largely in part to the town always engaging its residents in fairs and activities practically thrown in their lap, if I could try something. I asked for the day's specials, visited the local library not a quarter mile away and printed up specials with catch phrases including the weekends events. Brief mention was made also of the catering. 
Facilitators of the event along with those selling on the green might want to know that.  Walking around only ten minutes to various tables and interacting with people shopping and sightseeing brought in thought provoking results. Folks visited and mentioned how they didn't know about the restaurant a mere few feet away but had received the flyer and purchased multiple meals for themselves and to take home. Success, not so fast.

Subsequent trips were made back to taste other items but without follow through at restaurant level the idea though valid fell flat and the now defunct space is a side note to any good effort.
Another thing to note is on the day the flyers were passed out there were at least eight to ten people the restaurant owner knew. These individuals nice as they were did not increase the bottom line. making me pause and add to this cautionary tale. Stop having your friends and relatives hang out like this is a family reunion. You must know the difference between hurt feelings and your bottom line. Heart motives blur lines and cause dissention where there should be peace and profit. For what it is worth I truly wanted to see this space work for these owners. I hoped the best but all the emotion in the world doesn't make a dent without hard work, knowledge and experience.

​There is no regret but a renewed sense of awareness. The fire remaining endures and strengthens a resolve to do better despite seeing yet another comrade lose the battle. Learning from mistakes can change your future so get out of your own way and allow common sense and reason to reign supreme. When the smoke clears others will get a better perception instead of a rear view.
Until next time~

The dog days of summer are over but the growth of our business never takes a pause. Seasonal sights, sounds and smells of fall signals another step toward a new milestone: another season for potential.

Reconnecting to roots running deeper and reminding our long standing clients why they chose us in the first place remains priority one. Business infusions are a must year round especially during what is for some the Fall Downs and the Winter Blues. Here's a little boost.

Leave No Doubt-New competition is around every corner. The onslaught of technology puts us in the throes of playing defense and offense. Every email promises more than the last. Some offers may be good but they become a sea of words lost on some good old school tender. Hands on service. We didn't forget-we didn't want to expend the energy.

Texting and email never replaces personal effort and the insult of the day comes in receiving the ever dreaded Robo-call. Send your client base a token of your continued loyalty to them. No need to break the bank. Have they hit a milestone? Celebrating a new arrival to their family? Move into a new space? You should know these things, surprisingly few do or value the impact being personable has on brighter outcomes for all parties.

Call your clients with the fervor you initially had when you sealed and minted your first contract. Don't ask for opportunity, call to simply say thank you. Let them know the impact they have had on your business and let them know they are appreciated. If you are an entrepreneur do not leave this to your staff-you personally make the call. And for the love of Pete, stop sending the non-personal tech driven notes to valued clients. Email has its place and you'd better learn where it can best be effective.

Back Away From The Ego-Once your business is off and running it is very easy to get cocky. This is a rookie mistake. Don't let your head play games with your current realities. You need people to keep your business moving in the right direction. We may be stellar at what we do however, rates, skill and availability can change like Wall Street. All someone has to do is turn on any device to be instantly connected to whatever the need, care or want is. Not to mention good word of mouth. Customer appreciation days mean a lot. Small Business Saturdays being more than once a year.

Do Not Give Mixed Messages. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Reject $200-In the field you here oft of the little sale. Across the board responses range from every sale is a good sale to hourly rates having to make sense with revenue serving as the penchant. Or overpricing verses undervaluing. Ask yourself these questions. What is the client worth to you? Is your reputation leaving an indelible mark? Why is it that the only ones remembering your name is the competition? Does the skill match your demand? Can you exceed expectation? Bait and switch are old news with a checkered past many still chase like a zoot suit wearing lawyer after the ambulance. Where are you going from here?

Taking One For The Team-No need to if the team all has their A-game together. Bring real results with true demographics and you can leave the smoke and mirrors at home. Take responsibility for your actions. Continue learning from mistakes and reduce the hunker down affect by maintaining proper housekeeping. You know what your business needs, why are you still sitting on your hands? Get up, dust yourself off and get back on the road.

Retraining may be the route to take. Show the value of change by being the change. Ponder key step of business fitness. Start with a top ten. If this proves to be too much pressure, pick a top 5. Implement immediately for the instruction to take positive hold on you and your teams outcomes. Reevaluate weekly, bi-monthly.

Any issues, address them instead of allowing the banter to run rampant throughout the problem's tenure. You do not have to be a corporation in order to has a code of conduct in writing. Solicit outside expertise, seek legitimate professional human resource sources to know what you can and cannot put in writing as a company code of ethics. Review this as the company grows.

A few basic steps can go a long way. Take a moment to save yourself a lifetime of tumbles.
Until next time~

The old elevator speech needs retuning, a refining if you will. Getting away from the ever changing list of things you want known is different from creating dialogue leveling a broader level of engagement.

​If you are stuck as to how to go about it, here are a few keys to consider before journeying on into networking bliss.

1. Do not list every skill known to your profession. It's been done to death. Hone in on how one, and I mean one service benefits the mind, body and soul. Be real about it, no sense in trying to spin yourself into unrealistic parameters. If life insurance is your career make it known how the end result helped and work into offering a personal consultation by adding an essential health tip. Work on grieving tips.

No one seems to think about this. End of life planning should include more for those being left behind. You don't have to be a counselor to comfort someone choosing a plan. No one likes talking about it so make it about more than the bottom line.

2. If the speech sounds more like you a moving locomotive the results will be the same. No one wants to be hurried into spending their money. You must reach the mind and heart before any revenue streams are created. If you don't it's a wrap.

3. Take time to prepare a well thought out pitch. What is written may well exceed the 30-second mark but you can refine as you go. Instead of trying to write it out all at once, try writing or typing your skills on one side, the other, one sentence of the benefit. You will discover your talent for multiple commercials you can use even when among those familiar in the audience.

4. Hold on to those business cards. Instead of the old five card Monte ask to sit if possible for some brief one-on-one time, which can decrease the awkwardness of whipping out devices and hastily making arrangements you end up cancelling or changing later. Connections take time and there is no time like the present.

5. Have a coke and sit down. Recently I went to a networking event where everyone was nice but the 30-second rule, despite being explained went into mind numbing absurdities. The moderator was ignored. Instead of classic dialogue some went all in with a question and answer session during the individual speech. 

​By now you should have realized after about 30 to 60 seconds the mind goes blank and people lose focus. Especially unkind when you have a large number of attendees. It is truly rude and makes the assumption that everyone else is the waste of time. Don't do it. These time stealers ended up leaving the function right away as it seems the line for them was near the exit.

6. Make good eye contact when speaking. This lets your audience know you are invested in them. Not a good time for the casual flirt I sometime see which is annoying at best. Look around the room before uttering your first word in order to gain the attention, giving emphasis to the importance of your message. Now please do not inbox me later, use some logic here. Do not give the Michael Jackson stance like he did one year at a concert. Make casual yet firm acknowledgment and proceed.

​One of the goals here is to elevate hence build an elevator speech launching you to the next level. The so-called rules of the game may change and you will too. Keep it real, honest and informative. Great things await.

​Until next time~

Getting your business established takes mental fitness. The kind where you must take time to self evaluate what it is that you want your efforts to say about you. When we mentally check out instead of checking ourselves we can fundamentally cause catastrophic results to our business by shutting people out that otherwise would prove to be allies. 

Over the last ten months a few businesses have reached out stating they may shutter citing they can't make it with all of the competition. In addressing this I wanted to share a few snippets regarding conflict and infighting amongst some in several states:

​"I cannot network within local groups unwilling to let me in the door"-
And you never will until you change your mindset. What are you personally doing whether your business takes you local or abroad to let yourself be seen right here in your area? Creating your own networking group can be another way to leverage skills you have and may reduce the level of lack luster results. Stop internalizing and get to work.

You should have business cards on you at all times. Why do I keep encountering individuals stating they have a business yet when I request a card they are playing chest piano as if they didn't know already of their unpreparedness. Stop, drop and roll into your local business supplies store or get online for great deals and stop the madness of being un-businessed.
Another stop on the mental freedom train: stop-stop-stop apologizing for being a small business. Big headliners achieving instant greatness are not the norm. Work hard, stay educated on business model goals, reviewing every six months (some say every three months because of the ever-changing technology age-industry pending, watch your budget, reassess and keep it moving.

Trust me, others trying to maintain a larger business are having the same big-little issues you are experiencing. They have mastered the art of the poker face. If you are careful and smart enough you won't need the façade. Extend a hand, give your name, allow them to give theirs. Your introduction should never be all in one sentence. Take a breather and relax. Talking about what you do will naturally become part of the conversation. Go forth and conquer.

I've been a part of a chamber and everyone "knows my name"  
As it should be and with any established group big or small. Getting to know the members means having a real conversation without the elevator speech. Some do not know when to turn it off. I have also seen the hunter or mafia style mentality of some who have silent codes of conduct, i.e. don't do business until they join. Strong arming individuals to withhold any interest and waiting for them at their vehicles, visiting them at their place of business to make the unspoken enforcement with possible unpleasant outcomes to future business whatever that is, is wrong.

This may seemingly work but hard research is living proof that all of the skill in the world will not promise you results and no matter how successful a group may be or how much you paid to join cannot promise you strong returns on your investment. Use caution. Understand too the ramifications of the strong-arm approach. Oftentimes those performing these duties are unaware of the silent killer called gossip, sweeping through networks like a summer brush fire obliterating further segways. As much as we would like to think we are all invincible the fact is we're not.

If these are the kinds of individuals who want you to be a part of their group you must ask yourself why you want to join. You have just as much of a right to evaluate and interview any opportunities coming your way for growth. Keep your confidence and countenance when dealing with these voices and silence them by simply moving on until you find what aligns with your standards and ethics. In a perfect world you meet and do business-life goes on. The reality: you will meet unsavory souls along the way and you can maneuver without judgement to make formidable alliances without minefields.

When spending your money you deserve to have the investment be worth it to your bottom line. Know what your assets are and showcase them tastefully. Do not be hasty in offering yourself up so quickly on LinkedIn to those you may have shared connections with on other venues.

Follow your instincts if something is legitimately causing a red flag on other social media, why are you subjecting your professional efforts to those who may be only connecting to take advantage. LinkedIn is not Facebook and you must learn when and how to communicate safely without putting yourself and your trusted connections in jeopardy. Finding the right fit may not be as easy as A-B-C, be patient and work out real verses camouflage.

Another aspect to this is making sure you are friendly, professional and ready to do business. Not showing up as if you have another function to attend allows those you meet to feel as though you really want to be there-present in the moment, not taking off after the first conversation or drink. if you find a good chamber or networking group don't abuse it. Grooming is important. Showing up in jeans, baseball caps and unkempt hair may be your statement but what is it saying to potential connections. Even if you have a live out loud personality be aware of your audience.

Over extending your stay isn't clever either and has been done to death. If you feel the local atmosphere has nothing to offer bow out gracefully no harm done. It doesn't take five years of attending free breakfasts and after hours events to see the pros and cons. Your reputation is at stake, if still undecided after all of this time don't let the wine and cheese hit you on the way out. Have a nice day.
Many variables alter outcomes and making sure you are taking a good hard look in the mirror may be the swift kick you need. Well that and good observations of a good, trusted friend.

​Become a true business ambassador by harvesting genuine interest in your social savvy and become limitless.

Until next time~

​Certain loss leaders in life have nothing to do with profit and physical damage. Personality carte blanche rules the premise of politeness. From rude email responses to ill-fated evites gone are the days of protocol. Fractious connections are accepted as the order of the day with the assumption that they will always be a source to tap into.

Not acceptable. Never was. Never should have been. Getting side-tricked by the misnomer of everything is ok with a smile is phony and misleading. We emulate what we see because of trying to do the peer thing. Side-tricked into believing this behavior is suitable we get on the bus riding it out eventually becoming the passenger with the odor everyone is trying to avoid smelling the same air with.

​Reviewing the wreckage you try to regroup. You dig way back in the rolodex because you sure bruised up your digital contacts through bad context. Bragging and minimizing others, showing up to the party eating up all of the food. Placing false and true rumors and thinking nothing will get back because you are the bomb. But apparently you've blown up and not in a good way.  Now the real work begins-again.

​Damage control is a Band-Aid effort. You can't sop this up with a biscuit. You don't know where to begin because you did not realize you started it. The first person you disrespected wasn't the person you acted rudely toward, it was to yourself. Now you are aware of it-time to address it.

For one, we all have egos and are human and it may or may not be most of your fault for obvious outcomes so give up the blame game. It's old tired and done. The genesis of the issue could have innocently cropped its ugly head as a snowball of praise, feeling invincible and before you know it you are arriving on a float to every event. The head swells we get a little too comfortable and the tongue loosens.

You go from boy or girl wonder to butt of the joke accompanied with backs turned calls unreturned and network opportunities morphing into a shrunken head. You have the power to turn it around. Your attitude must change meaning you have to dig deeper dropping the false bravado. Check yourself. How did you get here and what are you doing. Stop blaming other people for the slip ups and failures and own it which is all part of the process.

Instead of whipping yourself for what you did wrong whatever your role go for what to improve on so the issues can fade to black. Initially there was a drive for something greater than today, a will to want to grow personally and professionally. At twenty we tell ourselves we know it all but when we turn forty we realize we are a student of life. Don't lose this as there is humility in it.

An understanding of greatness outside of ourselves should at the least propagate a culture of common decency beyond our oneness.  Catch phrases sow the seeds of doubt as cascading slippery slopes of trend. Dig deeper. Who are you? Write it down.

Something I do with some of  my groups I speak to is ask them to break into groups by age. The lists had major alterations as life happens through the decades. I have them do interesting things with the lists proving life is not such a mystery after all when we are the sleuth. So don't go running naked into the woods because you made a mistake. Just check yourself and after a while. You will be ok. Your gains will outweigh your losses on home turf and the welcome mat will say "Respect".

​Until next time~

On an otherwise unassuming day in October 2011 unprecedented storm news loomed. Not any storm but the kind producing debilitating ice assuredly setting new records for New England. Those living in states facing impending doom were warned of downed lines, power outages packing a punch, causing radios whose normal habitat somewhere between bottom of the closet of the lost and the inevitable walk of shame down cellar. But at least we knew what was coming.

Leaving my hotel for the trip home after a wonderful four days, I knew what was coming too. Refueling the car, making sure to have plenty of water, reassuring my mind of the emergency kit kept in the trunk because you never know what may happen I set off not knowing yet hoping like the rest of us that it wouldn't be as intense as predicted. Greeted with a welcome to Connecticut also brought on a new normal for what ended up for the majority as an 11-14 day black out.

Debris, enormous tree limbs and orange cones peppered the normally tree-lined neighborhoods of West Hartford, blocking the path to home. High beams on full alert, the alternative was getting back on the highway. Wishing for a blinking yellow street light felt like home but was not meant to be. Pushing forward the next exit brought more of the same. Third time is the victor as I finally see familiar paths to my front door.

​Even in pitch dark the full lens of what transpired painted a picture indelibly as with suitcase in hand, cerebral steps across an icy front lawn made for keen awareness of the danger surrounding every move. Painstakingly trying to keep balance. Eerily quiet calm. Not a creature was stirring. Keys in hand the front door opened an oasis truly embraced as home sweet home conjured new breath.

Candles lit and stove on for tea and warmth, accessing began. Not like I waited until hitting the front door but now have can match the reality with the list. The preparation is all in the planning and execution. I lamented. The next morning the rest of my crew from the traveling caravan connected as most powered phones in cars, malls or anyone fortunate enough to have a good generator lent a helping hand to those less fortunate. Well some did anyway.

The anger and ignorance of some gave a pregnant pause as it was now everyone's problem for those failing to be proactive. Extended gas lines, markets turning folks away as failed freezers meant compromised food sources, tying the hands of management and staff. Witnessing individuals, some professionals, who under any other headline would never seemingly find themselves in that position, argued their point of survival over the last sausage link on the planet. I lamented.

Forecasting was key. If you lived in Peru you knew that New England was about to take a hit, yet the element of surprise and entitlement stifled the pleasant air of my town. The same mentality exists with some who think they can run a successful business without forecasting. Without checking the customer climate, not counting the cost, energy and skill of running a business with organization causes failure. Playing into the blame game instead of looking at the man in the mirror. Failure to launch, communicate and move forward with agile spells epic failure.

So many businesses have closed over the last year because a huge portion miscalculated, they failed to keep up with their objectives. Not because the customers dried up. When you take up entrepreneurship you must know what you are getting into. Appreciating good art does not make you an artist any more than the appeal to start a business means you should. We always see one hit wonders, some pan out where the creator or inventor can make millions and walk away, for the majority it becomes ground hog day.

You go by way of the proverbial networking route. Meeting and greeting, passing out cards. Possibly connecting. You formulate lazy eye marketing. Random target focus.  Tooling the effervescent email blast to individuals you barely made eye contact with, hoping the words reach the heart and create a relationship in the mind. Come on folks! Back in the day you had to work harder than that to retain a pen pal.

Remember after the 2011 storm, like other weather events, people were practically holding hands in Kumbaya? Sure you do. When the ice cleared and the lights came back on the oh so familiar air of realism hit with a vengeance as warm embraces, paying for other's coffee at the local Starbucks and holding open the polite door began the descent into past tense. Disingenuous acts loom but don't last. Hard sell with a smile is done in case you missed the memo. You'd better giddy up for the bare bones, hit the ground running work that comes with ownership of your actions and reactions to all things business and beyond. We all know when we are treated with civility or with true intent of engagement.

​Showing up to the party takes more than meets the eye. But you know this so, so why the drink-wash-repeat method.  You know who you are. You make what you think are noteworthy appearances at networking meetings as if you were brought in special to sign autographs. You might seek out new ones but mostly rely on others to spread your good name. I have a not so secret for you: creating and spreading your good name is your primary responsibility, keeping a good name means working for it the rest of your life. 

Rid yourself of the temperamental invite. The bait and switch of if you come to my event I'll support yours. This does not work well as availability changes and no one is going to compromise substantial business to attend an event. Be a grown up and handle the idea of sharing events as viable means in offering extended growth instead of bartering for time.Make an effort to really connect, go to other events outside of your comfort zone. This is prime flea market, expo and outdoor show time season. Your business cards should not be bun warmers.

Which reality are you connected to if you believe the only way to advance lies in the hands of what you did yesterday. Your potential and current base can shrink and fade quicker than a bad bleach job. You have to plan for success instead of thinking you deserve it. Sure you deserve it if you worked for it but we all have the same hope of going beyond the line, making it.

Know yourself, know your business and become aware of what works-and this changes often. If you are working on local business do you know what that really is. Are you ready to supply and demand against those aligned in the same model. There is room for all but why do I want to do business with you on any level. Throwing hooks with zero follow through is a ridiculous waste of time.

The goal is to build your business. When it does happen do not resent those who cannot support the same events. You will know their success because you will see and hear about it so stop the hating.  Perpetual networking for the eats is a reputation killer and does not gain you any friends. If the first thing you grab for is a drink upon arriving at a networking event may spell a deeper concern needing your attention .

When you receive an invite for an event it is bad form to habitually hold out for the better opportunity. Over time you cancel yourself out of potentially untapped resources not seen by the naked eye. Do not get caught up in the befoolery. http://www.floralgreenspublishing.com/pillar-to-post/keeping-up-appearances.  There is no ROI for ignorant's sticker shock and rarely a refund.

It's not all about showing me the money but how you got there. I need to know the story. You should feel very uncomfortable with cookie cutter homogenized effort. Might work for a while not the long haul. Gear up building the right type of materials for your business. Research, research, research. Prepare properly for your atmosphere. Stop the crass competition and infighting which cracks infrastructure. And, if you are showing up to the party to gather information-I see you and I'm just pausing because your forecast is changing before your very eyes.

Preparedness is your business, the way people respond to it is theirs.

Alas, the long 2011 storm's aftermath reiterated hope impacting in kaleidoscope fashion. May it offer life and business lessons while casting a candid cautionary tale.
Until next time~

In our efforts to seem important we must be careful not to step on others along the way. I'm all for feeling confident but when it smacks of arrogance and ignorance-I draw the line. Having said that, my hope is to have at least one person learn from my recent experience.

​I always try supporting those within and outside of my network because it the product and services are decent, standing behind the brand is a breeze. In this case it was a dynamite product. Believing so much in it myself I let a few wealthy investors know about the upcoming presentation. Having a good name with people means you can suggest things and on occasion, time permitting, they will follow. Assuming the other parties have their act together this can be mutually beneficial but in this case it was not meant to be.

​On a bright sunny morning I set out to the destination, text messages in tow, the potential investors were meeting me there to see what the fuss was about. Arriving ahead of me they made themselves comfortable, striking up conversations naturally which is the way of the mature and confident. Only for the sake of this experience will I mention race in its way of explaining the situation fully. The potential investors were not brown skinned as I am and are fabulous connections and friends for these last twenty years. Salt of the earth individuals who would rather step on their own tongue than collaborate on the ideals of prejudice and aloofness. Ok, back to the story.

​I arrive and spot a chair next to my group of excited attendees. They were very impressed with the presentation, product offerings and investment packages being featured. The actual presenter also not brown skinned, surprised to see me, knowing me from volunteer work,  introduced me as said volunteer worker. The individual I was being introduced to also was not brown skinned, was never intro'd by whatever they did for a living and the evening went on seemingly without a hitch. Understand that I clearly am proud of everything I do in life and career but to introduce me in that setting by anything other than my name was out of context, making any attempts at excusing it simply baseless. I took the high road and was still willing to make introductions. My party felt differently and in what seemed to be in the blink of an eye they texted each other and me and decided they were out.

Not to say that the company and its staff will flop because of the ignorant domain they seem to wallow in because we all know many thrive despite their close-mindedness. However the quality of individuals, type of wealth and business savvy my group encompasses, the sheer stupidity of thoughtlessness should at the very least be a life lesson to anyone reading this right now.

​To date the presenter had no idea I had brought in potential buyers and I will never support them again, nor will I ever tell them what they lost. What I do hope is that if by chance they stumble upon my little read, they may try absorbing the facts. I've said it before and I'll say it again. In this 21st century, if anyone is foolish enough to get confused by the color of someone's skin instead of realizing what they have in front of them as growth potential, great connections and let's get real, wonderful people you'd wish you could meet and keep as friends, well go ahead and continue hitting your head on the pavement.

​Thankfully my very supportive group from that horrible experience were not deterred from believing in me and have since invested in another product upon my recommendation. We chatted about the incident but didn't dwell on it because after all, what is the point. Sad but true are the heinous views of those holding on to a semblance of realism whilst getting lost in their own mire. You can lead a horse to water....and so it goes.

​Until Next Time~